Friday, January 14, 2011

Maybe we should re-name it "Little Jersey Shore."

For those who think I make up the stories I tell about this little burg in which my family lives, here are some of the more memorable true crime reports of 2010 from our county. (Locations have been deleted to protect the nimrods.)
  • A woman called 911 and reported a case of domestic violence after she heard horrible screams coming from a neighbor's house. Deputies arrived to find a man yelling at his television. He was watching a Dallas Cowboys game.
  • A man in the ____ area said his porch was stolen.
  • A man reported that he was arrested in [a neighboring town] the previous week. He said the officers stole the "secret code off his cell phone." He also accused them of "farting" in his face as he sat in the back of the patrol car.
  • A woman reported that her boyfriend assaulted her because she threw his false teeth down a sewer pipe.
  • An elderly woman was found dead in a car. She had ridden in the car as a passenger with other family members all the way from Illinois, but they didn't realize she had died until they made it to a house in ____ County. It's unknown where on the trip she had died.
Here's the part that keeps me up at night: the local birth rate is on the rise.

7 comments:

Brandi Midkiff said...

Oo, I love the crime reports! You just can't make up stuff like that. And if you did, your editor would say it wasn't realistic enough.

Anonymous said...

My all-time favorite was in the Grapevine paper. It told of a robery of a drug store. The young man stole some condoms. It GAVE HIS NAME! (Makes a mother proud, I bet!)

lillinda said...

Your back !!! And I'm laughing !!!

Steve Finnell said...

you are invited to follow my blog

ZooKeeper said...

He he he...haven't had time to read many blogs but I missed you. I am SO glad I stopped back by for a visit! That hit the spot! High-larious!

Cindy Wade said...

Love your wit and blog. Two of the many reasons why we chose 'Fish In My Hair' for the Stylish Blogger Award. Congrats!

www.clocaltoaction.com said...

lol.. so funny crime reports :D thanks for sharing