Thursday, December 11, 2008

A White Christmas - literally.

Someone (who shall remain nameless) gifted me with this lovely nativity set after the holidays last year. 

Now, my first thought upon seeing these figurines was, How is it that Mary always looks so placid and refreshed? I mean, the woman just gave birth - in a barn. To GOD. I've seen women who've just delivered a regular, everyday human baby in a warm, comfortable hospital, and they don't look that serene. Unless the Demerol hasn't worn off yet.

Anyway. My second thought was, Wasn't Jesus Jewish? Maybe his family was from northern Israel. Far northern Israel. Back when it bordered Scandinavia. 

Then I got to thinking about how Christmas would be different had Jesus been born in Norway.
  • Mary would have been riding a reindeer instead of a donkey.
  • The shepherds would have found the Babe lying in a manger, wrapped in swaddling furs.
  • The wise men would have brought gold, frankincense, and firewood.
  • Silent Night would have a line, "Silent night, holy night, all is cold, all is white."
  • Nativity sets would come packaged with little fake snow drifts to place against the stable, and Joseph would be wearing snow shoes.
  • Jesus would have been named something like "Bjørn."
  • We'd be singing "O, Little Town of Brønnøysund."
Then my mental list was interrupted by the intrusion of my third thought. (I know. You're thinking, thank God for that. Me too.) I realized that this holy family looked vaguely familiar. Then it hit me. 



The seems that the holy family is related to Conan O'Brien, Late Night talk show host! Who knew?!

I can only conclude that 1) Jesus was an Irish Jew, and 2) once word gets out, that's really gonna put a wrinkle in the Catholic/Protestant conflict in Ireland.

18 comments:

Mother Hen said...

Yup, funniest woman in all of bloggityville!
Thanks for the laugh! :D

Sue said...

Mental note to self: never be chewing a bagel while reading this blog. *choke*

Mostly Sunny said...

Yup, definitely funniest blog evah! I'm just glad I wasn't standing next to you when you typed it...thou shalt not put the Lord thy God to a test. And girl, you tested him on that one... :)

By the way, the word verification I have to type in is "crepsy." Isn't that some sort of Scandanavian/Jewish/Norwegian disease?

Tracey said...

OK, that's the funniest thing I've read in a very long time...Conan O'Brien...who knew?? Merry Christmas!

Kathleen said...

I read a book to my kids yesterday that had illustrations which portrays the Holy Family as a dark-skinned, Jewish family. My son said, "THAT'S not how I picture them!" Well, Son, that's because you've been programmed with such nativity sets as that which belongs to TC. Well, I didn't really say that since that was yesterday...

Anonymous said...

hahahahahhahhahahaaahhhhaaah...off to spread the word, wooohooo

randomrevelations said...

You have a gift! Where have you been? Isn't hockey season over by now??

Shipra Panosian said...

conan o'brian? That explains alot! :)

Michelle said...

That is TOO funny!

My DD just got a nativity set from her Sunday school teacher and one of the 'wise men' in the set is a GIRL! HUh?

It's this cutesy 'Precious Moments' type set, and she has these golden ringlets tumbling down out of her crown.

:-S

Merry Christmas!
Michelle

Energyfree said...

Oh, TC! Now I can return to my daily life a little lighter!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS to you and yours!

Keeley said...

ROFL!!! =D =D =D =D

Merry Christmas - and thanks for the laughter.

Amanda said...

Merry Christmas!

Lisa said...

Yes, you are a nut..a wonderfully funny nut, but a nut none the less!
Blessings,
Lisa

Kopacz said...

Really good !!!

Texany said...

So did you find the perfect spot to showcase the family this Christmas, or were they re-gifted?

Even my husband thought this was funny, and he's not an easy laugh.

Cary said...

That is the funniest thing I've ever read! Thanks for the laughs!

Nadine said...

Hahaha ""O, Little Town of Brønnøysund." I found you through best funny homeschooling blogs of 2007. You're hilarious! Definitely coming back.

planetnomad said...

Ok I clicked on the link from mary at owlhaven thinking, "The last thing I need is another blog in my feedreader but I'll just read today's post" and now you're in my feedreader and I'm reading all your back posts instead of doing something productive. Sigh. But anyway, although normally I don't post links to my own blog, this reminded me of when we'd just moved to Morocco and didn't have all our stuff yet and my son made a nativity scene out of the few Star Wars legos he had with him. Then his twin sister made a baby Jesus out of toffee. Should you feel so inclined, see pics here:http://planetnomad.wordpress.com/2008/12/11/it%E2%80%99s-a-christmas-miracle/ and here: http://planetnomad.wordpress.com/2009/01/06/12th-night/