Anyway. I've thought of an award that much better suits my blogging style. Next year, I'm going to win the Most Redneck Homeschool Blogger award.
We recently decided to remodel the guest bathroom here at Agony Acres. I wanted to go for a spa look, so we tore out the pink floral gag-a-rama wallpaper that had been taped to the uninsulated sheet rock since 1975. We painted the room a lovely taupe shade, and then put in a new counter top.But wait, there's more.
We decided that since we'd gone that far, we should really blow our whole wad. So we sprang for some new 2x4s.
Now, I've heard that in spas there is often a fountain and some chimes, so that you are lulled into relaxation by the sound of trickling water and soft tinkling tones. (Not to be confused with the tinkling tones and trickling water in the actual bathroom... never mind.) Anyway. There's no room in this bathroom for a fountain, and what with the purchase of the new lumber, I couldn't afford chimes. But I've come up with a substitute.
For the sound of water, I go into the next room and throw a load of Hubster's tightie-whities into the washing machine. For the sound of chimes, I put a couple of pairs of my sons' jeans into the dryer, where the inventory of a hardware store falls out of their pockets and clangs around in the dryer drum. (I have a theory: I think my boys have been giving their underwear to gypsies in exchange for bits of shiny metal.)
But wait, there's more.
Hubster decided to replace the commode. He says whoever invented the low-flow toilet obviously never ate at our local Mexican eatery, Taco Tico Mayo Me-o Ee-I-Ee-O, on All You Can Eat Bean Burrito Night. He also mentioned that Mr. Low-Flow Toilet Inventor should be kicked in a certain region of his anatomy, but since this is a family friendly blog, I'll move on.
Now, if you have an old toilet perched on your back porch, you might be a redneck.
And if you have a cow who comes to the back porch to look in your windows, you might be a redneck.
But when you have a cow who comes to drink rainwater out of the toilet on your back porch, you are definitely a redneck.I just hope the award is more 2x4s, because we need a place to hang the towels.