Friday, August 1, 2008

The secret life of cows.

So, this summer we've had a day-care cow. By that I mean, there is a neighbor's cow who comes over to our house every day around 10:00 am, eats our grass, fertilizes our lawn, and goes home around 3:00 pm. See? Day-care cow.

I have a theory about this cow. I think she got wind of the runaway bull adventure we had a couple of years ago, and she's hoping that she, too, can get a ride in an SUV. I mean, think about it. A cow's life is about as exciting as a potato on sedatives. What does a cow do all day but eat grass, make manure, and sleep? So when that calf got home after his little car trip, don't you know he was the talk of the barnyard? He's probably something of a bovine legendary myth by now. "Oh, your uncle Clovis met Buford, The Backseat Cow. 'Course, that was back when he was a bull, before the, uh, surgery. Some folks say that's what made him get the wandering hooves."

Really, the only time cows get any travel experience at all is when they get loaded up in a trailer for a ride to that Great Pasture In The Sky. And it's not like they know what's going to happen. They're probably all excited, "Oo, I hear that where we're going, we'll be surrounded by greenery." No one's going to tell them, "Uh, that greenery would be the lettuce between you and the bun."

Well, gotta run. I have to find out if having a day-care cow is a home business, for tax purposes.

5 comments:

Junosmom said...

Here in KY, we have a saying about cows like that. "Finders, keepers."

lillinda said...

You DO lead such an interesting life ! I sometime wonder what it must be like to be you.
lillinda

TobyBo said...

"potato on sedatives" -- hey, wait -- that describes my lifestyle all too well --

Boo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Boo said...

this post reminded me of you

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2008/08/lament-of-st-espressus-of-java.html


i don't know how well that will work for you... but it's very funny