Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Coming soon to a theater near you

Driving with one's teens in the car is an enlightening experience. My sons play some game where they call out car names and then punch each other. I have no idea what the purpose of this activity is, but I'm trusting that it's some kind of male bonding thing and that it's preparing them for stellar careers as video store employees.

My daughters, on the other hand, like to have meaningful conversation in the car. This means that I get to listen to them chatter about cute boys, clothes, cute boys who wear clothes, and uteruses.

Yeah. You read that right. And yes, there's a story coming.

Seems that FashionBug had become aware that some women are no longer the proud owners of a uterus. And it seems that this was true of the mom of FashionBug's best friend. So FB was sharing with her sister and me that friend's mom occasionally experienced PMS symptoms, even without the requisite organ.

Now, Princess Bunhead has a long history of being knowledgeable about uteruses. She also has a long history of coming out with those "it sounded right until I said it" proclamations. She's familiar with the phantom limb phenomenon, and figured it applied in this case, but as she explained it to her sister, she declared, "Oh, it's probably a ghost uterus."

I almost drove into a tree.

But, wait. There's more.

That night I watched one of the X-Men movies before I went to bed. Mistake.

I dreamed that I had special powers. I became the Mutant Ghost Uterus, with long, snake-like fallopian tubes, and I could reach way out and smack folks upside the head with my ovaries. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to meet myself in a dark alley.

I see a whole series of movies in my future, starting with "Scooby Doo and the Ghost Uterus."

Freddy Krueger has met his match.

4 comments:

Mostly Sunny said...

That weirdness ranks right up there with the dream I had about you where you were a baby, but full grown, and you were laying on a table with your tush in the air. And you had no crack or any place from which you could, you know. I figured in my dream that maybe you don't eat, which is how you lost weight, so you wouldn't need, you know, a place to eliminate. I have no idea. I don't even want to know why I had that dream. *shudder*

Junosmom said...

So I guess I'm sitting here wondering if Mostly Sunny is your mom or if not, why she's dreaming about you as a baby with a malformed buttocks? Perhaps I should get a life.

As for your daughter - that's hysterical. Perhaps she'll like to read more on the subject :-) I read this on Robin's blog
http://www.robinhoulette.com/2008/07/female-hysteria.html

lillinda said...

Oh Yeah ! Another Scooby -Doo movie. I would probably have to drive the yard apes to the movies, so I might as well watch it too.
Scooby-Doo and the Ghost Uterus VS Postrate Man.
Yeah

You always make me laugh, and right now, that's a good thing, Baby !
Linda

40winkzzz said...

I think that your sister up there is taking advantage of the fact that you don't have a "blog-owner approval" requirement for comments. Maybe you should. Bceause you wouldn't actually have approved that one, would you? I mean, a daughter's friend's mother's uterus is one thing; one's own tush, dreamed or not, is quite another.

I remember reading that Bunhead/uterus story before, by the way. I knew that's where the link would lead, and I clicked on it anyway just so I could read it again.

Oh my. Appropos to the first comment, I see that my "word verification code" below ends with the letters "b" and "m". Coincidence, no?