Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Wordless Wednesday

Not only "no," but "heck, no!"
And if I'm gonna pay $3,600 for a pair of shoes, they better darn well come with heels.
(That wasn't very wordless, was it?)

Friday, March 7, 2008

You kids are gonna learn something, dang it!

One of the benefits of homeschooling is the plethora of opportunities for what we homeschool parents like to call "teachable moments." I'm a big believer in teachable moments. My kids, not so much. They claim that they can't fart without me making it a lesson on the anatomy and physiology of the digestive system. They say I'm the only mom they know who can turn taking out the trash into a field trip.

WhatEVer. Communists.

Anyway. Our part of Texas received an abundance of snow this week, which is something extremely unusual. It's kind of like Nebraska getting hit by a tidal wave. Or StuffMart running out of pork rinds and 4XL black polyester stretch pants. Unheard of.

Of course, my teachable moments antenna were quivering with excitement, so we had some outdoor lessons.

1. We trained a couple of our dogs for next year's Iditarod race in Alaska.

What? You've never seen an elderly, one-eyed pug and a Basset hound pull a dog sled? It could happen.

2. We practiced cave living, a skill that might come in handy after next November's presidential elections.

And then, when our electric power went out for a while, I demonstrated how to heat up canned chili on our wood stove. You'd think this would have impressed my children, but no. Their fear of my cooking knows no bounds. It scares them when I spread peanut butter on crackers. So they were more than a little worried about how they were going to endure the next few meals (or lack thereof). When the power finally came back on, 14-year-old FashionBug saw the blinking digital clock on the microwave and cried out in great relief, "YES! We're going to live!"

Ah. Another teachable moment: Appropriate apologies to yell through the window when your mother locks you out of the house.

Monday, March 3, 2008

I was just wondering ...

So I was in a public restroom the other day, and I noticed the name of the company that manufactured the toilet stalls, and it made me wonder:

Is there really a guy out there who introduces himself, "Hi, I'm the CEO of Hiney Hiders?"