There's a church in Texas that advertises its "30 Minute Worship." If you check out their website, you will see that their order of service looks like this:
- 8-10 minutes: singing
- 15 minutes: sermon
- 5 minutes: offering
Now, I'm not one to criticize the way other churches work, but this particular approach to worship does raise a couple of questions in my mind.
1. What about communion? Maybe they hand everyone a communion-to-go bag on the way out the door. You know, a juice box and a packet of saltine crackers. Gives new meaning to the term "Happy Meal."
2. I wonder how they baptize folks. I guess if there's only one baptism to be done, they might just nail the person with a squirt gun before he gets in his car. If they have a group, it'd probably be faster to just turn on the lawn sprinklers and tell all the baptees (Of course that's a real word. Whaddya think, I just make stuff up?) to run through as they leave the service.
3. Um, prayer? Oh, maybe the parishoners get credit for the one they uttered in the parking lot: "Please let me get a spot near the door so I can be the first person out the door and into Chili's before the after-church rush."