Saturday, February 2, 2008

Now I know I'm really a mom.

I thought I had already done all the things that qualify me to be called a mom.

I've been peed on.

I've cleaned up puke in the carpet at 2:00 am.

I've hosed down a toddler whose diaper exploded, spreading its contents from neck to knees.

I've wiped away boogers without a kleenex.

I've dealt with poop in bathwater.

(I could go on, but you get the gist.)

But today I earned a new badge of Momhood. It seems that Sasquatch has a raging case of poison ivy, with the greatest concentration in the area, uh, south of his tailbone. Down in the valley, shall we say. And guess who gets to administer the itch cream?

Why is it that Dadhood is earned by doing fun stuff with one's offspring, like teaching them how to belch the alphabet, showing them how to crush a can on their foreheads, and helping them memorize all the lyrics to Frank Zappa's "Don't Eat the Yellow Snow?"

No wonder we moms need chocolate. It's our hazard pay.

16 comments:

40winkzzz said...

Um,OK. I don't think my 12-y/o son would LET me do that, and really, it's about time. I had to deal with his unpleasant butt for about 8 years, so I've paid my dues already. And I'm still consuming the chocolate to make up for it.

Hoosier Mama said...

Did you just get tired of watching him drag his butt around on the carpet, or what?

Mostly Sunny said...

Oh... my... word. I'd be throwin' the tube of lube at him and saying, "Butter your own butt, fella." You must be a much more understanding mom than moi!

randomcontemplations said...

I'm guessing that you probably don't want me to mention this to Sasquatch at church tomorrow??? Poor guy! hahahaha!

Netherfieldmom said...

Aren't you just a little interested in how a "man" gets poison ivy in the winter, in his crotch?? Kind of scary...although I have had it in unique areas, because I took off my clothes, after I petted the cat, who rubbed on the ivy, that grew in the orchard, that's behind the house that Jack built...or something like that.

Anonymous said...

My daughter discovered your site, and thought I would get a kick out of it. I certainly did! =) Thanks!
homeschoolblogger.com/prayerwarrior

Junosmom said...

Oh, and I'm sure that some day he's going to really appreciate that you blogged this. Keep if for a memory book to present to his bride on their wedding day.

Chris said...

lol yes wow I am so glad I will never be a mom...

yeah and i am like in class right now so if i get kicked out for not taking notes i will so blame it on...your kid with the ichy butt yep

Anonymous said...

Wait until it is a tick that takes a bite and just won't let go and he wonders where the third testicle came from.

Wendy

Jenig said...

hooooooo boy, i think you are more of a mother than i am. i'm with mostly sunny...

Don Lewis said...

Hey wait a minute! Being a Dad isn't always a bowl of beer nuts.

I do a lot more than just teaching my kids to mis-spell rude words in the alphabet soup.

And we have to put up with all the carping and moaning from our wives about things that need doing around the house. Sometimes it's so distracting that I'll lose track of who's at bat.

Mostly Sunny said...

Where's my seester? I need a new post and some comic relief. Don't let me down or I'll have to come pound some humor out of you! <3 Ooooo, that was a little violent. I didn't mean it, of course. Remember, I'm a cream stuffed donut... all sweet and mushy. HA!

TobyBo said...

*trying not to think about how he got a case of PI -- there*

Keeley said...

Hahaha, such fun we Mom's have. =)

I've had vomit in my mouth (my child's vomit, I mean) and poop on my face (I joke not). Luckily it was baby poop and vomit so I guess it's not as bad as it could have been... =D

There is a "You make my day" award waiting for you on my blog, cos...um...I love your blog n stuff. =)

midwifemom said...

How in the world do you get poison ivy there? Wow! I can see my boys asking me to do something like that.



http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/midwifemom/

Anonymous said...

so true, so true. dad is all about fun and mom's are all about sacrifice! but such is the way in the world of kids, huh??? i have to admit the time my oldest got gum stuck in the "nether regions" my husband was the one who got it "unstuck" with peanut butter (which he put back in the cabinet afterwards.) "thanks but no thanks on that Pb&j"!!!!!!!!!!!

...and now that i think about it he's the one who gets puked on for some reason. i think i'm just quicker on the pivot!

IN HIM!
Julie
www.homeschoolblogger.com/juliestew