Thursday, December 20, 2007

I'm a failure as a homeschool teacher.

This morning I helped my seventeen year old son fill out his first job application. A politically-correct public school teacher might say he is "gifted in non-traditional learning styles." I say he is "terrible at reading and writing but excels at eating entire sides of beef and blowing stuff up." 

I'm aware that eating sides of beef and blowing stuff up are not the job skills that most employers are looking for, but as it turns out, that may not be my biggest worry.

Me: Fill in your name and all the blanks about your address and so on.
Son: What's "M.I.?"
Me: Middle initial.
Son: What?! I don't know how to spell my middle initial!
[sound of my head hitting the table]

Proof #286 that I am raising the next generation of StuffMart greeters.


Anonymous said...

You are not alone. My 13 year old doesn't know how to spell his middle name either. As a matter of fact, he also excels at blowing stuff up and eating entire sides of beef.
Maybe I hove your son's 13 y.o. double?

~*~ Jennifer ~*~ said...

Oh my heavens... can I laugh at YOUR expense?? I don't have teenagers yet -- that's why this is funny.

Actually -- I'm terrified I'll ruin my home schooled kids. EEKK!!

Junosmom said...

It's so much more satisying when you can blame someone else, say a public school teacher, when on has one's doubts about a child's education and prospects. But really, who knows Einstein's middle name anyway? You've only really made it when you get down to one name anyway. Look at it this way, your son has only one name to go.

Kelley said...

I agree with junosmom! I was public schooled/private schooled and I had to get help with my first job application.

lillinda said...

My granddaughter used to say she wanted to be the cashier at Stuffmart next to the door.
We finally figured out that she thought that the cashier got to keep the money ! We still are not sure why she wanted to be "close to the door". Maybe she wanted to be able to run when she kept all the money!

TobyBo said...

I am glad to read this before mine apply for work. Maybe there is still time for me to teach them to spell their middle initials. What curriculum to use? And Woe is me. Late I realize how much better off I would be if they all had the same MI to learn... it would reduce my teaching load.

Chris said...

that is just too sad...just too

Mrs.Martin said...

Laughing with Ya! I have teenagers too.

blue thistle books said...

Oh my gosh...thank God it's not just me and my child that have these kinds of conversations.

Turns out I have much to worry about. I was hopeful that her question about how much a forty-one cent stamp cost was an isolated incident. I was wrong.


Sleepless Stitch said...

I just wanted to stop in and say Merry Christmas to you and your family!
Your not a bad teacher I am sure sometimes the tiny little things get missed and I think even the public school teachers do the same thing.

CerealKiller said...


It's sad, but in a way, also funny...

I'll probably fail doing something like that too.

bensrib said...

This reminds me of the time both my 14 and 17 year olds came to me and asked how to spell the town we live in. *sigh*

Anonymous said...

Okay, I have one who couldn't remember her phone number until last year (age 16). Won't tell you how long it took her to tie her shoes, either. :-)


bubbebobbie said...

Blowing up sides of beef? Absolutely there is a lucrative business opportunity for him. Have you never seen MythBusters? They blow up pigs all the time, so all you need to do is change the animal of choice!

As for your failure, when my sun filled out his first application, it said please print...he wrote singularly spaced cursive letters because he had forgotten how to print!

Welcome to the ranks! Oh by the way he has been a F-16 Crew Chief, a Computer tech for EDS pulling in 45,000 a year at 24 years old, a cross country truck driver, majored in MORTUARY Sciences in College and is now....are you ready for this.... Working at STUFFMART!

Trust me, You can't stop it from coming, it just does!

because of Jesus, Bobbie

Happy New Year!

Crib Chick said...

Now *that* is funny.

And about those job skills...I remember when my mom watched the remake of Planet of the Apes, and learned that there was actually a person who taught the actors how to act and move like apes.

She got very excited.

"Hey!! L. (my oldest son) could do that for a job!"

Good to know.

Anonymous said...

Wow! My son couldn't spell his 5 letter middle name and I was horrified! He can read and write just fine and is quite intelligent, he just never bothered to learn it, argh!! Nice to know it's not unheard of for teenage boys. (I think:) )

Anonymous said...

First time for me here. I homeschool my 14 & 16 yr old boys. I have been extremely depressed and frustrated lately. Just can't seem to get them to want to do the work. Of course, I threaten to send them both back to public. This definately brings some laughter to my day for once. By the way, my 16 yr old,amazingly does not know our address. Like, what!! You know 20 of your friends cell phone numbers, but you can't remember where you live? Ugg....

Anonymous said...

I home school too, and it seems I have failed horribly. They just don't apply themselves . I end up doing the work for them and I can't get them out the house.I feel like running away. what to do