Sunday, December 30, 2007

Hello Kitty. Goodbye Manhood.

The big news in business this week is from Sanrio, the Japanese company responsible for that bow-wearing, moon-faced cartoon cat that adorns all types of merchandise. On the low end, economically speaking, you can find Hello Kitty pencils, socks, and band-aids. Going up the scale, you've got your choice of a waffle iron (a bestseller at $43.49), 
a Fender guitar ($229),
or diamond earrings,

which will set you back only $2,150.00. (Valentine's Day is coming, guys.)

Believe me, I so wish I was making this up.

Anyway. The big news. Sanrio is going to offer a line of Hello Kitty products for men, which will include a black t-shirt with a picture of the cat on the front, selling for $36. 

Dude. Here's a tip. DO NOT WEAR THIS SHIRT IN NORTH TEXAS. If you insist on getting beat up, save yourself the $36. Get a white t-shirt, and use a Sharpie to write something on the front, like
  • "Go Vegan!"
  • "I just can't quit you, Tony Romo."
  • "John Wayne wore women's underpants."
  • "I still Y the Dixie Chicks"
  • "Pickup trucks suck. Real men drive scooters."
Trust me. You buy that Hello Kitty t-shirt, and later you're going to wish you had the cash to pay the plastic surgeon to remove the cowboy boot imprint from your derriere.

15 comments:

Dy said...

*sniff* This is why I love coming here and reading. Not that I've left comments in, what, eons? But still, I come. I read. I have some internal snarky thought that pops into my head, and then, like magic, I find you've already written said thought. It's just... great.

Dy

CrossView said...

It would be dangerous in Texas. I have much family there. But it would be dangerous, also, ANYWHERE in the Deep South! LOL!
I can't imagine any man wanting to wear a Hello Kitty tee. Or anyONE over the age of 8??!!
That's skeery stuff! =D

Mostly Sunny said...

I love how the news report says they've changed Hello Kitty to have a more rugged, cool look. Yeah. Right. When you can replace John Wayne's face with HK's and not have anyone notice, THEN HK will be rugged and cool. Or better yet, make Hello Kitty look more like Clint Eastwood and rename him Hello Clinty. Now THAT I would buy.

Hoosier Mama said...

No matter how rugged and cool they attempt to make ol' HK, it won't matter because men hate cats. Really. Do you know any men who would voluntarily own a cat? A barn cat, maybe...and doggone it, that thing better earn its keep by eating mice! Even big, fierce cats like lions and tigers aren't appealing to any guys other than Siegfried and Roy...

Chris said...

heyo i swear i saw a picture of a hello kitty M-16!! tunred out to be a joke but yeah, twas in the news and was funny lol

bubbebobbie said...

Do Texans say "derriere"?

Happy New Year?

Because of Jesus, Bobbie

Sleepless Stitch said...

OH my gosh!!! That is so sad!!!
So your saying I can put those quotes you mentioned on t-shirts and people would actually buy them ;)
Let me know and I will.


You should see the things they have done with cute little tinker bell.

Leigh said...

This would give my husband nightmares. He's still trying to get over the time he grabbed a t-shirt out of the dryer, put it on, and wore out the door. To work. On a construction site. And...it was Kaitlyn's over-sized, hot pink t-shirt that she used to sleep in. He never even noticed until he got to work and the jokes started. Poor man.
I make sure his t-shirts are safely folded in his drawers now, but he is still suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.

Mostly Sunny said...

You want me to watch a movie about a woman with Alzheimers? I can go up the street and catch the live show!!

TobyBo said...

I *like* Hello Kitty. And I know why. It is the part about HK having no mouth. Some days I wish kids came that way.

Anonymous said...

Oh but I have to pleasure of living in SoCal so am sure to notice some nut in one sooner or later, probably with a coordinating "man" purse. :)
from Fringey

Kelley said...

I have a Hello Kitty popcorn maker....I also have a four year old . I say they balance.

Diesel said...

I'd totally take that guitar if someone gave it to me.

~Rhen said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!
I cannot even begin to imagine a MAN wearing a hello kitty anything. LOL

CrossView said...

I'm feeling like a stalker here. I keep checking back and...
nothing. =/

Hope all is well! =D