Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Why, yes, as a matter of fact, the Grinch DOES live here.

Another Christmas, another year of having to explain, "Kids, your dad doesn't put up outside lights because he has a headache from drinking too much eggnog. Why don't you make Daddy feel better by playing some soothing music? How about that AC/DC version of Drummer Boy on your electric guitars?"

The truth is, my husband is the original Scrooge. He would like nothing better than for me to put up the tree at 11:00 pm Christmas Eve, take it down before lunch on the 25th, and for everyone to exchange gifts that don't require any money to leave our bank account. You know, things like leaves. Sporks. The classified pages from the newspaper. In his opinion, the best thing about Christmas is getting to eat date bars, which an old family friend used to make on her fireplace hearth. (By "old," I mean "babysat Teddy Roosevelt.") Naturally, Husband thinks I should make them the way she did, and, naturally, I ignore him and continue to feed my family microwaved date bars that resemble radiated road tar mixed with potting soil.

I'm going to write a lot more about our Christmas traditions, but not today. Our home computer is offline, and I have to go pick up the stuff for my husband's stocking - a pencil nub, a purple zipper, and 4 M&Ms that I found under the front seat of my van.


Yvonne said...

Your husband and I have a lot in common. I am our family Grinch, I would be very happy to skip the tree too! I may actually get away with it this year too! Dear daughter has decided that the one in her room will suffice for our tree this year, wahoo!! I think she wants to keep her brother very far from all of her special ornaments!

Hoosier Mama said...

Apparently my husband has been leading a double life. Here I thought he'd been working a lot, but now I find out that he's really been spending time in Texas blessing his other family with a heapin' helpin' of Christmas-hatin' attitude. I guess there was just too much of it for one household to effectively absorb.

Queenie said...

I am the exact opposite from your hub. Mine came home last night and declared that he would need to take on a second job in order to pay the electric bill. He grumbled something about "Grizwolds" and locked himself in the bedroom.
Happy Day to you.

Chris said...

Yeah, no decorations, no tree over here. We do get gifts though (woo woo)

Tiffany said...

My husband can be a grinch too. We're working on that though.

Olivia said...

I am totally NOT a Grinch! I love Christmas, and I don't know if I really have ever even known a true Grinch!

I am commenting here because I have been tagged for the first time, and I decided to join. I have been enjoying your blog for a little while now, and wanted to invite you to play along.

Keep up the good work on your blog. You are a great and very funny writer.

If you choose to join check it out on my blog under the post, "I've Been Tagged!". That's actually a really fitting title for me, I was never a very fast runner, so I was easily tagged as a child! Hehehe!

Junosmom said...

huh. Your husband and mine must've been adopted and are long lost brothers. Dh for years hasn't acknowledged that Christmas takes a good deal of effort on my part. His idea of buying for Santa is to get each kid a pack of gum and be done with it. Which is why I do all the shopping and hate Christmas. Bah humbug.