Tuesday, November 6, 2007

The Piano Story

Sometimes it just becomes crystal clear why God did not call some of us into certain professions. I now know why my parents never worked for a moving company.

When they came to visit us last month, they had quite an unusual assortment of items in the back of their truck.
1. Luggage
2. Enough apples to feed the entire population of Pakistan
3. One half-ton of cherry lumber (Hosts often receive from their house guests gifts like soap or a bottle of wine. We, however, are usually given the remains of small forests.)
4. A radio-controlled boat and an RC airplane kit
5. A spinet piano

If my parents had gotten in an accident, rescuers searching through the wreckage would have thought that my folks were tent preachers for some weird fruit-worshipping cult that also operates a flea market.

Anyway. When they arrived at our house, we discovered that due to a broken latch, we couldn't open the back of the truck to unload the cargo. Here's the actual dialogue of the event, while we were all standing around the back of the truck, peering through the windows.

Dad (who is not only mostly deaf, but who also has the patience of a 4 year old): Get me a sledgehammer! I'll bust it open and we'll get it fixed later!
Dad: At my age, I may not have a minute!
Mom, worriedly: Do you think we brought enough apples?
Son (who hears just fine, but who also has the patience of a 4 year old): Holy cats, there's an airplane kit in there! I'm gonna climb in through the window behind the cab!!
Son proceeds to channel Houdini as he wriggles through the 10-inch-square window.
Son, after 20 seconds in the back of the truck: IT'S HOT IN HERE!
Mom, worriedly: I hope I remembered to pack a coat.
Daughters: Can we climb in there, too, to play the piano?
Dad: Where's that sledgehammer?!
Son makes his way to the tailgate of the truck, with the help of a GPS, and examines the latch.
Son: I need some channel locks!
Husband, ignoring son: I need some oil.
Dad: No, the apples won't spoil!
Mom, worriedly: Do you think we brought enough apples?
Son: Channel locks!
Dad: Flannel socks? Oh, they probably fell out of my suitcase.
Husband, ignoring son, applies oil to latch.
Latch doesn't budge.
Mom, worriedly: I need to buy a new atlas before we go home.
Daughters fight over who gets to play the piano first.
Husband silently studies latch in order to apply a complicated engineering formula.
TC, trying to infuse some humor into the situation: Hey, Dad, maybe you should go home by way of St. Louis and show the piano the arch.
Dad: No, we're not leaving the piano on your porch!
Mom, worriedly: Did I tell you my phone's not working?
Daughters: Mama, can we start piano lessons this afternoon?
Husband finally gets channel locks for son, who proceeds to open the latch in 5 seconds.

Several hours later, after the truck has been disposed of its contents:

Mom, worriedly: Don't you think we ought to unload the piano?

TC: We're gonna get right on it, Mom. Just as soon as my Excedrin Migraine kicks in.


Chris said...

hey...is there a reason u don't pm me anymore?

Beth said...

Great post! I laughed the whole way through! I could completely hear it all happening.


Sunydazy said...

You shouldn't make me laugh that hard right after I've put on makeup...mascara runs are not pretty!

Tiffany said...

I am just amazed at how much your parents sound like mine. I spent this past weekend at their house but wasn't there much thank the good Lord. I had a wedding to attend luckily. My dad can barely hear and only wants to talk about things that happened pre 1950. My mom is bumbling around at all times and repeats herself and just says off the wall stuff all day.

Keeley said...

ROFL!!! =D =D How did you keep a straight face?

Well, maybe it wasn't that funny whilst you were there, but it's funny on a computer screen a gazillion miles away...

Did your Mum get her atlas? Did your piano come in from the porch?

Kayla {Not You Average Emo} said...

YAY I get to post the first comment! You got a tag to do on my blog! :D

Mostly Sunny said...

That's too funny! Your parents sound like MY parents...oh... wait...

Thomas said...

I don't think anybody but you could take a truck, piano, wood, apples, and channel locks and make it funny.

Laughing makes the world go 'round.


Jess said...

Hi TC-

Sorry for being a neglectful commenter lately. I'm sure that you understand a hectic dance schedule since you have Bunhead for a daughter. But enough of the excuses.

First, I am so sorry that your dog's leg had to be amputated! Which one? (Dog, not leg).

And second, COOL! A spinet piano?! And your post was hilarious. I really needed a laugh.

See you around,

lillinda said...

Oh ! Oh ! Oh! TC.
Are you sure we aren't related?
This was so funny, I was laughing so hard I think I may have busted a blood vessel in my other eye ! LOL
We had a great conversation in the car on the way to church Sunday about starching my dad's pants. Mom was talking about buying some plants ! From plants to starching pants in 2 seconds!
Life is a hoot, ain't it.

Chris said...

wow lol that whole post was very funny :D

which is prob why u posted it...lol

Michelle W. said...

That is SO funny! (The parents part - not the doggie part.)

I hope you all enjoy the piano, and I hope your dog feels better soon!


Kelley said...

I'm impressed your son got in through one of those tiny little windows. Sounds like it was a show for the neighbors.

imasharp said...

Love it!!!
Sounds like something that would happen here. This cracked me up. I may just save it to read when my day is sideways.

bubbebobbie said...

Have I told you lately how hard you make me laugh and that I mayneed to buy stock in Depends because of it?

Thanks for your kind words. The Hospital told my MIL they were able to help 75 peole with Lynda's donation. Amazing!

So what's on the menu? Apple pie? Apple fritters? Apple Crisp? Apple dumplings??? Do you have enough?

Because of Jesus, Bobbie

Michelle said...

I have not visited in quite awhile. You'r new blog looks beeyootiful! I started over here at Blogspot to hang with my Scrapshare friends but no one came to visit (do I smell bad?) Thank you for sharing the gift of laughter. It would be SO selfish of you to keep these adventures to yourself! Here's to seeing the sunny(?) side of life!
God bless your day!

Michelle said...

It's been awhile since I have visited. Your new blog looks beeyootiful!
I started over here at blogspot to hang with my Scrapshare friends but no one came to visit (do I smell bad?)
Thanks for sharing the gift of laughter - it would be so selfish to keep these adventures to yourself!

Brian Nash said...

Hey TC you've been a great web friend I was wondering if you could plug the contest I'm having on your blog. Information on it is at the link below.


Thanks in advance,

- Brian

Rick said...

Funny - loved the post. I'm losing my hearing too - that seems to frustrate the rest of the family when I understand the third or forth time.


Mostly Sunny said...

Okay, so now I'll have to write a post on our "Day trip to NJ with the Folks." I felt like I was re-living your piano story.