As everyone knows, next year is an election year. We were wondering if Flat Stanley has given any consideration to running for President. He is obviously a man of the people. He has that rugged, handsome appearance required for the media. He is flexible on the issues and favors a flat tax like I do. Do you think Stanley will run in 2008? - Underdog
Thank you so much for this excellent query. It's always a pleasure to receive an email from a real person instead of yet another invitation to join a singles dating site which must be extremely desperate if they're recruiting married, near-elderly women with lip lines.
Anyway. Although Stanley has not said anything to me about campaigning (or about anything else, for that matter), I do believe he would be an excellent choice.
- Thus far, he has dealt very well with the press of being in the public eye.
- He would reduce taxes by making the federal government leaner.
- He would very much like to iron out the problems in the middle east, and smooth the way for bringing our troops home.
- I have found him to be very level-headed. Particularly while lying down.
- He would thin out spending on pork projects.
- Some critics say he is narrow-minded, but I think he has more than an inkling of what concerns the average American.
- Finally, he currently lives on a ranch in Texas, which has worked out well for several other presidents.
Here's Stanley with the ubiquitous prickly pear cactus:
And here he is with his exotic turkeys, which is great experience for working with French diplomats:
In conclusion, I believe that with some plain talk from his friends, Flat Stanley could be pressured into running. Please send all campaign donations to me.
Sincerely (and I mean that),