Monday, October 1, 2007

He's destined to hand out smiley face stickers, I just know it.

Over the course of our homeschooling years, we've covered a lot of world history. I've tried to teach my children to grasp the "big ideas" of each era: how religion shaped the culture; major military successes and failures; how the geography of an area impacted trade; the contributions of each culture to fine art; societal roles of women and children in ancient history. We made togas, built a model of the Rose Theater, practiced writing Mandarin characters with a brush and ink, studied cross-sections of castles, read biographies of Ghengis Khan, Gutenburg, and Ghandi.

So what does Sasquatch (age 12) actually remember from all of that?
1. The ancient Egyptians ate doormice.
2. Queen Elizabeth brushed her teeth with sugar.

GAH! Maybe I should just start teaching the boy the practical things he will need to know for his future career, like

The Care and Cleaning of Your Blue StuffMart Vest

Cart Wrangling 101

Clean Up on Aisle 4 - Tips for Mopping up Five Gallons of Kosher Dills

She Wants More Than Your 10 Items: Why You May NOT Date that Huzzy Who Works in the Quick-Check Lane.


Amanda said...

Well maybe by the time Sasquatch has been there that long, he will be able to train my now 4 year old.... My oldest taught himself to read and is just "brainy." The little one just recently learned the ABC's in the right order....SIGH. He just doesn't seem to get the whole point of learning....he'd rather put game pieces on his fingers and play with those......


B&B said...

Happy October 1st!!


B&B said...

Where's the link to 'She Wants More Than Your 10 Items: Why You May NOT Date that Huzzy'? I wanna read those instructions to MY son, lol.

B&B said...

'I think the only things that aren't honored in October are mange and petunias.'


Shelley said...

Mine also remembers that working in a castle there was a guy called a dung farmer who had the job of scooping the "items" that fell from the "toilet" above.

Mostly Sunny said...

My best friend Carol taught 1st grade for an entire year, and at the end, one kid said the most memorable thing was when Carol "fluffed" while sitting on his desk. All that classical education for nothin'. ;)

Jessica said...

LOL! That's funny. It is amazing how they remember the craziest things!! :)

Chris said...

Heyo! Yeah wow that is just sad lol but i guess u r right, he can still work at wal mart! :)

CrossView said...

Oh my! LOL! But we sooo need those smilie stickers. They make my day!

Debi said...

I love it when I'm sitting alone in my house, laughing out loud! That is hilarious!

Hey our local Stuffmart has their employees now wearing blue shirts & khaki pants!! I'm telling you, when I walked in wearing my sweat pants & Tweety Bird shirt, I actually felt out of place!

But I know what you mean by only grasping the small things. It's like when we spend the day at the zoo, the weathers perfect, we picnic out, we see all the animals acting up & playing, no one has killed the other ones, we've had a wonderful day. Then when you ask my 9yods 'did you have a good time today' he'll say NO it was HORRIBLE. And the reason? Because he wanted Lays Stax and not Cheetos with his sandwich!! The WHOLE day is shot because he wasn't able to slip his chips into his ham sandwich. Everyone KNOWS you can't put Cheetos in your sandwich, they roll OUT and it just ruins everything. It'll drive ya to drink.

Thanks for making me laugh though, it was great.

Anonymous said...

No - He isn't 'scary' enough to hand out stickers. Our sticker guys are SCARY! One of them actually chased my 4 year old out into the parking lot because she walked by him without getting a sticker. He ran after her and said "TAKE your sticker!"
(I thought DD was going to cry, and DH and I didn't know whether to laugh or be appalled!)

Michelle (foxvalleyfamily)

HoneyBee said...

The sad thing is...all i got from that post was : Wow queen Elizabeth brushed her teeth with sugar!!!!

I think i might need cart wrangling 101 :P


TobyBo said...

I think I am raising a girl who might interest your son... she also does not get the big picture, I don't think she knows there even *is* a big picture. Sigh.

Junosmom said...

So, I'm not the only one that threatens my homeschooled children with a future job at StuffMart? See that man, I ask? That's you someday unless you do your math.