Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Change is good.

I think my mantra for 2007 is going to be, "Change is good." It's amazing what you experience and learn when you break away from the old and try something new. And I'm not just talking about switching from white to whole wheat.

I have a new dentist, and I like him very much, and not only because he's good at what he does. For starters, he has TVs mounted above the exam chairs, so the patient can watch a movie on DVD while getting a root canal. I suppose this helps to distract you from the fact that there are four hands, three pointy metallic instruments, and a smallish garden hose in your mouth. Whatever - I like it. I rarely get to watch movies at home, because our TV is usually showing: 1) some video game wherein teenage boys loudly race riding lawn mowers, tricycles, and shopping carts, and then punch each other when the game is over; 2) sporting events, in which the sideline interviewer asks such brilliant questions as, "How do you feel after losing the championship?"; 3) Phantom of the Opera, because Princess BunHead has to review the last scene so as to have the lines from the entire movie commited to memory; or 4) Rachael Ray, the Queen of EVOO.

The other thing I really like about my new dentist is that he uses nitrous oxide. I'd never experienced nitrous oxide before yesterday. Holy moley. All I can say is, that stuff is way underused. It needs to be available to the general public on a much wider basis. I've already thought of several applications where it would make people much happier.

  • In dressing rooms. Think about it. Women would actually buy the jeans they try on, instead of leaving the store empty handed, muttering unprintable maledictions at Levi Strauss.

  • In the check-out line at StuffMart. I know I'd rather have a shot of happy gas than be forced to stare at the tabloids announcing Angelina Jolie's adoption of the entire population of Burkina Faso.

  • At my desk. Especially when I have to pay bills.

  • Portable tanks. A mom could strap one of these on when she has to swab the toilet, clean under her son's bed, or shampoo the carpet where the dog vomited up the fish sticks and peas that the three year old fed him.

  • Mammogram rooms. Need I say more?

Yep, change is very good. Now I just need to convince my eleven year old son of that fact, especially when it comes to his underwear.

No comments: