Thursday, December 8, 2005

Mirror, mirror, on the wall

I have an eyebrow problem, and it is this - they need grooming, and I can't see to do it. Bifocals and eyebrow grooming are mutually incompatible. If you look through the bottom of the lenses, you can't see your eyebrows, and if you lift the glasses so you can see the eyebrows, you can't get the tweezers behind the glasses. So, in desperation, I have resorted to blindly, randoming plucking, and now have what looks like eyebrow mange. I resemble some kind of walking Picasso portrait gone horribly wrong.


But I was in Sam Moon the other day with my 13 year old daughter and found the solution to my eyebrow problem - a magnifying mirror. They come in varying strengths, starting at 2x. When I found the 10x mirror, I said to myself, "Self, our eyebrow problems are over! I shall purchase this mirror forthwith, and never again be plagued with unsightly patches of eyebrow hairs on my forehead!"


Great googly woogly. Have you ever actually looked in a 10x mirror? It magnifies your pores to the size of pencil erasers and shows you all kinds of things that only God knows about. I'm pretty sure I saw a group of single-celled bacteria having a Christmas party on my chin yesterday. And mangey eyebrows are the least of my hair problems. I've got nose hair (not in my nose, on it), mustache hair, chin hair, and I've got a good start on a soul patch. Forget tweezers, I need a full facial wax.


No wonder my dog snuggles up to me. He thinks I'm one of his kind.

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